Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Thank You My Friend

It has been a very interesting week for me and my family. In fact I was unsure if I was even going to post about this. You see, my grandfather who was 93 passed away over the weekend. Though I am generally a private person when it comes to these types of matters, I realize that everything is somehow linked.

My grandfather was very dear to me, though there was a language barrier. He was born in China and after immigrating to the United States, he never really learned to speak English. Me being of mixed heritage, never learned to speak fluent Chinese. The last finished object that I made was Wack the duck. I gave this to my grandfather while he was in the hospital hoping to lift his spirits and never imagining that would be the last gift that I ever gave him. On subsequent visits to the hospital, he would tell me how he would sit there and just touch and feel Wack when he was there alone. At the time I felt that the goal I had set out in knitting and giving him Wack was accomplished. I wanted my grandfather to know I was there to love and care for him, even if I was not physically there.

After I received the news of his passing, I sat and knit. For the first time I realized exactly how much knitting meant to me. Though I had known that I enjoy knitting, I do not think that I really ever knew how much I needed it. Knitting was the perfect thing for me to do at that time and I did not even know it. At first I was hesitant to knit. I was unsure if I was going to be able to concentrate enough to accomplish even a few stitches, but as I sit knitting that evening a certain amount of calm came over me with each and every stitch. The stitches seemed to glide off of the needles so effortlessly almost as if I was not even the one knitting. I had always been able to sit and relax while I knit, but this time it was so different. I can not really explain it, but it was just different.

Knitting is my friend. My friend that was there when I really needed someone. I am her friend. She listened, calmed, and soothed me when I needed it the most. I will forever be grateful to her for that.

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